Stuff That Keeps You Stuck
Posted on 4/16/2011 by Alan Rousso
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Ever been laughed at or disregarded for sharing a feeling or fear that was real for you? If it happens enough, one simply stops sharing those important feelings or thoughts with one another.

When you stop communicating in this area of life, development slows down measurably. People can actually die of disease caused by this hurt of by the unnatural attempt at withholding what must be shared with another in order to be well.

The challenge here is to find someone or some ones who are able to do the following for you:

1. Listen to you fully…adding nothing during your sharing
2. Get it... during your sharing... that is, to listen by standing in your shoes, feeling all that you must be feeling in that moment of sharing, yet not disrupting the flow by empathizing or sympathizing.
3. Accept you fully, regardless of what you are saying. In fact, to care about you that even the most trivial sounding or shocking story has no grip on the listening. You are much more important than the details of the story.
4. Consistently see your best even when you cannot (boy, can I relate to this!)

One of the advantages of having a coach is that the coach is there for you and always puts you first. With a friend or spouse, they’ll need their time at some point, too. And, being human, they may not be able to hear or handle your innermost thoughts and concerns... whether that is personal or professional!

You’ll know when the time is right to share this kind of stuff. Usually it happens after you experience “a crisis”, or, (hopefully), you’ll have a shift in your perspective… understanding that interference to your success, health and happiness starts in the head… the space between our ears!

The more you are willing and able to share the fears, concerns, thoughts, opinions and needs you have with your coach, the easier you will reach your goals and express your values!

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In 1983, Mark Victor Hansen came to a Markson Management Services seminar and handed everyone a book with nothing in it. He called it Future Diary.

He then proceeded to tell us to write down everything we wanted as if it were already true...hence future diary.

I remember writing 5 things down that I really wanted, never thinking or believing that any of them would come true. All five did!

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